Wolf LittleBear

The gray clouds cast eerie, misshaped shadows around the room as the pouring rain falls endlessly with the fierce sound of drumbeats. I wipe the wet fog from the window and watch the raindrops dance like the fury of fire in the street washing away everything in its path. It has been raining for so long I had almost forgotten what the Sun looks like and although it’s a summer day the icy downpour bites and chills to the bone. In the dreariness of days like this I fight to find solitude and reflection. It’s ironic that so often moments of clarity occur on the darkest of days. I guess that proves that the light is out there if one is willing to take the time to find it.

Sitting alone with my memories I relive both the happy and the sad times. I think of those I haven’t seen in hours, those I haven’t seen in years, and even those I will never see again.

Trying to break the somber mood I begin drawing pictures in the fog-covered window. I laugh to myself as I draw smiley faces and a cat. I draw a cartoonish car and grin proudly at my creation. With a bored finger I absent-mindedly write a simple word. Honk. I laugh out loud as I imagine the sound of a tiny car horn beeping. I looked at the word and stood transfixed as a wave of emotion and memory came back with the ferocity of the rain outside.

Suddenly I’m seventeen again. It was the summer before my senior year and we’re driving home from a concert enjoying a cooling summer shower. Without warning the sight of headlights and the smell of burning rubber appeared before us…

I write your name on the window and watch as the water drips through the letters like slow teardrops, washing it away. I damn the rain and watch as the water wipes clear the window. A tear rolls down my face much like the window and I fall asleep to the sound of endless rain. If only it could wash clear my memory with such ease.